Rough Weeks Lead to Rants

This is probably going to be a ranty post since yesterday was…hard.

And not because any major event happened. Sometimes I think everything that is sucky different about being in New York all piles on itself until one day you just get emotional.

And that was yesterday.

So I just wanted to share with you some little tidbits about the not-so-great side of living in the Dreamy New York City.

  1. The absolute worst thing about New York is how dirty it is. Never in my life did I imagine I’d pass off the fact that grown men have their pants pulled down and their urine splashing to the floor in the subway station as normal. I realized just the other day that I hardly ever look up to the amazing skyline because I’m so busy looking at where I’m walking so I don’t tread in literal crap, or vomit, or used condom, or homeless person. There are rats the size of my head (exaggeration) that dart out of nowhere and cross right in front of my path and all I can do is scream in my head DISEASE. You’d be surprised at how many bugs (the unmentionable kind) there are, and where they show up. Don’t put your bags on the ground, especially not the subway floor. Don’t wear your shoes around the house. Don’t touch the subway pole if you can avoid it. Don’t touch anything, actually. Don’t walk close to the wall because that’s where the homeless like to live (and use the bathroom). Don’t walk by that drain. Watch out for that mysterious gray puddle. Please don’t have lice – the train is packed and I can’t move away from you. Why would you throw your garbage on the ground, sir? There’s a garbage can right there. Do you like living in your own filth?
    • All I can say is, it really does put an overall damper on your day to be surrounded by dirtiness. I will mention that some parts of New York are very clean, and these places are wonderful to be in. I’d even say that these are my favorite places to go because they lift my spirits. But I’m not usually in these areas because…well, point 2.
  2. New York is an amazing place to be if you have the money for it. There are so many great places to eat, shows to watch, performances to see, places to hang out, and the cutest (and cleanest) apartments/neighborhoods to live in! However, the majority of New York is not part of the super wealthy. I know Billy and I die on the inside when we pay $11 for a meal, so we often choose to cook at home. We hate spending money on movies and shows because it hurts when you know that money could be so well spent on other things (like rent – the black hole where all your money disappears to, never to be seen again). And the list goes on. Basically, Billy and I are very cheap people living in a very expensive place. I know this is our fault, but I hate having the choice of either spending our time at home being cheap, or experiencing something new in the city with a knot in my stomach, hoping we didn’t just waste our money.
  3. Overall living conditions are sub-par. Where else would you work so hard to be payed so little to spend all your money on your tiny, old apartment that you hardly get to spend any time in because you’re at work?
  4. Again, expensive. The cost of everything is so stressful. I’m making about twice the minimum wage and I make an additional $400 to live on per month. Actually, I don’t even want to talk about this one. Thinking about money was what I was getting so upset about yesterday. Right now we’re trying to figure out if we should move apartments or stay in our current situation or get roommates in a two bedroom place or become one of the homeless…
  5. Too much city, not enough breaks. Sometimes we just really miss the beautiful mountains in Utah. And well-kept cities. And family. I really want to get up to Maine and Vermont. Heck, I haven’t even gotten to see the mainland part of New York, because it’s actually pretty hard to get out of the city since you don’t have a car. The parks in New York are pretty nice, but during the week, I leave for work when it’s dark, and by the time I leave work, it’s dark again.
  6. I walk around with my fists clenched. This might sound like a weird one, but I only recently realized that I’ve been subconsciously doing this for a while. The fact that I do it means something significant to me – that I don’t feel safe, I don’t feel comfortable. That, to me, is huge.
  7. The people of New York aren’t usually mean, but they’re not nice, either. You have the people that grew up here and think they’re better than everyone else because they’ve been miserable for longer. And then you have the people that are unfriendly because they’re trying to pretend to be the New York stereotype. And then you have the people that used to be friendly, but then moved here and everything just kind of got them…down. Everyone dreams of moving here, but then they get here and shut down, choosing to focus on their career, their time, their well-being. This city definitely encourages self-centeredness.

I think people are really good deluding themselves into thinking that this the greatest city in America. I actually looked into it a bit on the internet, and New York City is repeatedly one of the saddest and most depressed cities in America.

And on that note, I will stop ranting about what I don’t like about New York City today (in my bitter mood) and say that most days I really genuinely love living here. This week is just not one of them.

Hopefully next week is a better one.


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